I am Next in Line, what do I Say?

By: Tom Gallagher
Wednesday, September 14, 2016

When you attend a funeral you are there to pay your respects, show your support to the family, and mourn the loss of a loved one. As you prepare your words for the family of the deceased, it can be overwhelming and difficult to find the right thing to say.

 

It is common to want to say your share of what the deceased meant to you and how you felt about them while also being common to be stumped for words during a difficult time of loss. You may be overwhelmed by the emotional tone in the room when speaking to the bereaved. Here are some tips for saying your part at a funeral.

 

Fond memories and stories – Share fond memories that you have of the deceased. Perhaps you two graduated together or shared the same hobbies. Using specific examples and talking about a time they brought a smile to your face or made you laugh tends to lighten the emotional manner of the atmosphere.

 

Speak from the heart - In some cases, the deceased may have had a big impact on your life. Perhaps they helped you through a tough time, or they supported you through a big decision. Express your gratitude and tell stories of the genuine person they were for you.

 

Exclude any phrases – Avoid using any phrases that you personally feel may lighten the situation you are in. For example, “They are in a better place now” or “They are not suffering anymore” These phrases tend to sound cliché and may even belittle the emotions the bereaved are feeling.

 

Still at a loss for words – If you are still at a loss for words, remember not to simply use a phrase to fill the void of saying nothing. Instead, shake their hand and express your sincere apologies for the loss of their loved one. Do what you can to offer your support and help through these trying times.

 

As you make your way up the line to pay your respects to the family of the deceased, keep in mind you are trying to make the day a little easier for them and offer your love and warmth as they go through this painful grief. Speak from your heart and of the positive traits of the deceased. If you have any questions or need any advice on this topic, you can contact, Thomas Gallagher Funeral Home, here.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Grief - What is "Normal"?

Grief is a normal reaction to losing someone or something significant to you. You might experience a range of feelings, including despair or loneliness. At Gallagher Funeral Home, we recognize that...

Differences Between Protestant and Catholic Funerals

If you've ever attended funerals for people of different religious faiths, you've probably observed that the funeral rituals vary somewhat from one ceremony to the next. At Thomas M. Gallagher Fune...

5 Things To Do With Your Loved One’s Ashes

If a person has chosen cremation as their method of disposition upon death, their relatives will get the cremains after the process. However, at Gallagher Funeral Home, we've seen that many folks a...

What Can You Do With The Ashes Of A Cremated Loved One?

If you have cremated a loved one, the cremation center will hand the ashes to you. At Thomas M. Gallagher Funeral Home, we've seen that many folks are unclear about what to do with cremated remains...

Social Media Meets Funeral Service - The Pros And Cons

These days, just about everyone seems to have a Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram profile. They utilize these social media platforms to communicate with family and friends, trade information and stay...

Irrevocable Pre-Need Arrangement

A funeral services package also referred to as pre preparations or funeral service packages, is a pre-paid contract between clients and funeral homes. Such packages include all necessary preparatio...

Healing After A Loved One’s Suicide

When a loved one commits suicide, it can send you into a tailspin and greatly overwhelm you. Sorrow, frustration, rage, and denial may all come tumbling down on you at the same time, leaving you fe...

Do You Need A Casket?

We at Gallagher Funeral Home understand that planning a funeral ceremony for someone who has passed entails several complex considerations. However, an increasing number of individuals nowadays cho...

Coping With Grief When You Have a Chronic Illness

Chronic illnesses seldom are cured, and in some cases, they might linger for years or even forever. People's capacity to work and maintain active or "normal" lives might vary in intensity. If a per...

Dealing With Sudden Death

It's never easy to deal with the loss of a loved one, even if you know it's going to happen. However, the agony of abrupt death is very different. Families frequently find it challenging ...